but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
