I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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