none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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