When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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