We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
