Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
