Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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