I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
