you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
