The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
