No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
