Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Porn is love you can see.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
