Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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