i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
