Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
