You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
