rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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