I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
