He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
