i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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