So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
