I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
