Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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