2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
