Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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