So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
