im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
