I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
