I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
