Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Text me some of your sweat
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
