Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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