I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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