hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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