3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
