Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
