you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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