The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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