i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
