According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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