chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
