turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
