I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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