she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
