His hands were made for my vagina.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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