Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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