i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
