How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
