you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
