she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
