That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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